Emotional Nutrients header

Original Watercolor Running Free by Lee Mothes. Copyright 1998, www.oceansanddreams.com

Emotional Support
When YOU  Need It - 24/7!

Emotional Support 24/7 Free Articles Ask Your Health Improvement Question Links
 BetterHealthBytes Newsletter 
article feature
Back |  Print  |  Bookmark
Boundaries - What Are Healthy Boundaries?

What Are Healthy Relationship Boundaries?
Why Do You Need Them?

One of the most terrifying things about raising young children is that they have no boundaries of their own. Which means that as their parent, you have to be on the alert constantly to provide healthy boundaries for them. Setting healthy boundaries is a major portion of any parent's job.

As an adult, your relationship with your children is only one place that calls for healthy boundaries - in fact setting healthy boundaries in relationships of any kind is part of making your life work well.

What are boundaries, anyway, and why do we need to have personal boundaries?

Here are twelve facts about relationship boundaries that address these questions:

When you establish a healthy boundary, you:

1. Indicate a border or limit (I can talk to you for five minutes right now, then I need to leave);

2. Say "this far and no farther" (I am glad to hear what you have to say on this subject, but I am not going to comment on it at this time."

3. Define a consequence if you need to for what will happen if the boundary is violated ; (If you keep picking your nose at the dinner table, you will need to eat by yourself and you can try again tomorrow. If you keep interrupting me, I am going to call you on it, even if it's in front of your friends.)

4. Can state your responsibility as one person. In other words, you can say what you will and will not be responsible for, or do.(I will prepare dinner four times this week. I will keep the car gassed up, I will not take the car in for the next servicing.)

5. Can define responsibilities divided between 2 or more people. (You pick up the groceries, I'll cook. You cook, I'll clean up.)

6, Prevent double work. By establishing who will do what, you prevent duplicating work because the other person or people didn't realize the other person was going to do it.

7. Can define the limits of your own ability to cope or carry out a task. (I can do ten situps today and that's all. I can run a mile today without caving in since I'm newly recovered from the flu. I'm not going to talk about so-and-so's death right - I need to keep my composure at work.)

8. Establish protection for yourself, a child, a relationship or personal property. (I'm not going to see you in person today since you still have the flu. Johnny, stay here where I can see you and don't go close to the edge of the pool. I'm going to wait to bring up this touchy subject with so-and-so until he/she's had a good night's sleep.

9. Bestow the power to safeguard your own happiness, & well-being on yourself instead of some outside source that might or might not deliver for you. (I am going to go to the party tonight and have a good time whether or not so-and-so shows up as promised.)

10. Award command of your own self definition to yourself, separate from the world around you. (So-and-so called me lazy today, but I'm not lazy; in fact I'm quite industrious.)

11. K eep things that are good for you inside yourself and prevent things that are bad for you from entering. (I'm sure glad I don't have to accept so-and-so's taste in music for myself, as that last selection sounded like just so much noise to me.

12. And last, most important to your physical health and well being: When you set boundaries, you create instructions in your brain about what is 'me' and what is 'not me'. In turn, these instructions inform your body's immune system about what to attack and attempt to get rid of, and what to allow as part of yourself.

People without sufficient boundaries are highly vulnerable.  They are easily lead by others,  lose contact with themselves and feel overwhelmed.  So important is this issue that we devote an entire class to it in Emotional Development 101.  To check it out, go here: www.emotionaldevelopment101.com  You're welcome to forward this article to anyone you feel may benefit.

Pamela Levin is an R.N. and a Teaching and Supervising Transactional Analyst with 500 + post-graduate hours in clinical nutrition, herbology and applied kinesiology. She is an award-winning author of 4 books and numerous articles.

Pamela Levin, R.N., T.S.T.A.
September 10, 2012

For free health improvement tips on a variety of topics covering greater well-being of body, mind, spirit, emotions and relationships, and to request a topic you'd like to have covered, go to http://www.betterhealthbytes.com

Source: http://www.betterhealthbytes.com

Tags: boundaries what are boundaries what is a healthy relationship boundary definition definition of boundary set boundaries setting boundaries

 Does this article spark any topics you'd
like to see covered?

If so, suggest them here.

Subscribe to Better Health Bytes NEWSLETTER so you'll know when your topic is addressed. 

Yes, I want greater health and wellbeing of body, mind, emotions, spirit and relationships. 

Please send BetterHealthBytes and the Special Free Reports as they become available, to:

We respect your email privacy

By letting us know what you're intererested in, you help shape health improvement content that can empower a large number of people, so we encourage you  to let us know what you'd like covered.

Note: We do not make recommendations based on any individual's specific health situation.We offer general information beneficial to anyone with health concerns. We cannot guarantee an answer to every question or request.


For more information to support your better health and greater well-being of body, mind, spirit, emotions and relationships, go to www.betterhealthbytes.com. You can sign up for the complementary bi-weekly newsletter and request a topic you'd like to have covered.

 ↑ Back to Top


Get your Free

Emotional Intelligence
(EQ) Quiz
and followup
Tips to Raise Your EQ!


 For Access to

Free Articles

to Support Your

Better Health and Greater Well-being,

 Click Here


Pamela Levin is an R.N. and a Teaching and Supervising Transactional Analyst who has been in private practice offering health improvement services for 40 years.

She has over 500 post-graduate hours of training in clinical nutrition, herbology and applied kineseology.

She has published many professional journal and lay audience articles and has an international reputation in the fields of emotional development, emotional intelligence and Transactional Analysis.

For her work in these areas, she was awarded the prestigious Eric Berne Award by members of the International Transactional Analysis Association in 72 countries.

She has lectured and trained both lay and professional audiences all over the world.

Her work is continues to be used  throughout North and South America, The UK, Europe, Asia and Australia.

She has personally researched the key emotional nutrients™ she makes available through this site.

They have consistently been demonstrated to be the core nutrients people need to feed all the six parts of their emotional selves. 

People from all cultures and languages in all parts of the world have used them since she first made them public in 1974 to feed their emotional selves, move from surviving to thriving, release limiting beliefs, improve parenting skills and more.